And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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