My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
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