He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
