He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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