we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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