haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
