Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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