Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
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No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
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I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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