Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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