Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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