Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize