How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
