I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
