does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
