I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
This is classic penis vs brain.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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