sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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