u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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