Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
