He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
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