i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
