i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
