Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
a search helicopter?!
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
