belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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