how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
