Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
