we're chasing vodka with high fives
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
