i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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