if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize