She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
