haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
