this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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