Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have fence marks all over my body
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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