If i could tip my vagina, i would.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
