My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
