Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
