woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize