In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize