I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
Randomize