Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
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Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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