worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
