weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
