I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
