I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Everything about him screamed your future.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Randomize
