I just saw a hot homeless man
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
