He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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