He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
