The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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