I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
