omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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