i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
