At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
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I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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