I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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