just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
