i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
