literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
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