I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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