She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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