after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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