she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
