Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
