The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
